What Is School Bullying? Signs, Causes and How Parents Can Help School bullying and violence isn't just about physical fights in the playground. It also encompass social exclusion, intimidation, psychological harm and cyberbullying. This guide from Westlink helps parents recognise the warning signs, understand the causes and consequences, and know exactly what to do, step by step, if their child is at risk. What Is School Bullying? Common Forms The defining feature of school bullying is repetition and a power imbalance. A single argument between equals is usually just a conflict. When one side is repeatedly targeted, that's when it becomes bullying. Parents should be aware of five common forms: Physical violence — hitting, pushing, hair-pulling or damaging a classmate's belongings. Verbal abuse — swearing, body-shaming or insulting nicknames. Social exclusion — shunning a classmate, spreading rumours or pushing them out of a group. Psychological abuse — threats, manipulation or undermining a child's sense of self-worth. Cyberbullying — attacks through messages, social media or sharing images without consent. Five common forms of school bullying in the classroom Image Children clashing with friends is normal. The problem starts when conflict turns into deliberate targeting. Parents should watch for three key signs: repeated behaviour, a consistent power imbalance, and a victim who feels afraid. School Bullying Today: The Bigger Picture School bullying is a global issue, not one confined to Vietnam. According to UNICEF Vietnam, around half of students aged 13–15 have experienced violence in or around school — equivalent to roughly 150 million students worldwide. UNESCO data shows that almost one in three students has been bullied at least once in the past month, underlining how common the problem is and why early recognition matters. In Vietnam, a 2019 study conducted in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City recorded some notable figures. Among more than 1,000 lower and upper secondary students surveyed, 75.7% had been involved in traditional bullying, and 32.5% had been involved in cyberbullying. One finding that comes up again and again is that victims tend to stay silent. That silence is often the biggest risk of all — when a child doesn't speak up, parents and schools lose the chance to step in early. This is why actively watching for signs matters more than waiting for a child to tell you. Signs Your Child May Be Bullied Most articles just list generic warning signs. But a Year 2 pupil and a Year 11 student show it very differently. Breaking the signs down by school stage helps parents know what to actually look for. Signs Your Child Is a Victim Primary school: your child suddenly becomes afraid of going to school, or often complains of stomach aches in the morning. They may also lose belongings for no clear reason, or cling to adults more than usual. At this age, the body often "speaks up" before words do. Lower secondary (Years 6–9): your child withdraws, drops activities they used to enjoy, or their grades slip. Some children also become reluctant to go to school and start avoiding old friend groups. This stage is particularly sensitive to peer pressure. Upper secondary (Years 10–12): the signs are usually more hidden and easy to miss. Your child might avoid social media, change passwords repeatedly, or struggle to sleep. Cyberbullying at this age can happen entirely out of parents' sight. If your child is hurting themselves, treat it as an emergency. Any negative comments about life or self-worth also call for immediate professional support. Signs Your Child May Be the One Causing Harm Protecting your child isn't only about keeping them safe from bullying — sometimes, your child may be the one causing harm to a classmate. Watch out if your child is repeatedly reprimanded for aggressive behaviour. Another sign is unexplained money or belongings appearing at home. They may also frequently blame others, or spend time with a group known for picking on weaker classmates. Catching this early helps your child change course before the behaviour becomes a habit. Unusual changes that may indicate a child is being bullied Image What Causes School Bullying School bullying rarely has a single cause. It's usually the result of several factors combining. Understanding the root causes helps parents respond appropriately — and avoids the trap of quickly labelling a child as simply "badly behaved". The student themselves: puberty often brings intense emotional swings. Without the skills to manage anger, children are more likely to react with violence, and a lack of conflict-resolution skills lets situations escalate. The family: children learn how to behave from what they witness at home. An environment with frequent shouting, physical punishment or emotional neglect leaves a mark — and can shape how a child treats their classmates. The school: when policies for handling bullying are unclear, harmful behaviour is more likely to repeat. Schools don't just teach academic content — they shape standards of behaviour. That's why consistent processes matter so much in preventing violence. Society and the internet: violent content is now easy to access and spreads quickly. Some content even normalises aggressive behaviour. With frequent exposure, children can end up imitating it without realising the consequences. School bullying usually stems from several different factors Image Physical, Psychological and Legal Consequences Physical injury is the most visible consequence after an incident, but it's rarely the longest-lasting one. Bruises heal — emotional damage can stay with a child for years. Psychologically, victims often become anxious, lose confidence and start avoiding social situations. They may also lose interest in school, or avoid the environment where the harm happened. Left unaddressed, this raises the risk of depression. The child causing harm faces consequences too, if the behaviour isn't corrected — they can go on to struggle with relationships and work as adults. Legal Consequences by Age Many parents are unaware of the potential legal ramifications of school violence. Under Article 12 of Vietnam's 2015 Penal Code, anyone aged 16 or over bears full criminal responsibility for any offence. Those aged 14 to under 16 are held criminally responsible for particularly serious offences — which includes intentionally causing injury under Article 134. On the school side, Decree No. 80/2017/ND-CP sets out the responsibilities of education providers. Schools are required to maintain a safe, healthy environment and take steps to prevent school violence — giving parents a clear basis to ask the school to help resolve an incident. If your child is in crisis, don't try to handle it alone. Vietnam's National Child Protection Hotline (111) provides free support, 24 hours a day. Families should also seek a qualified counsellor or psychologist if the signs persist. What Should Parents Do? A Step-by-Step Response Plan Knowing the signs is one thing. Knowing what to do in the first few hours is another. This section gives a concrete plan, rather than generic advice. When Your Child Is Bullied — The First 24–48 Hours Listen first, react later. Let your child tell the whole story at their own pace. Interrupting or getting visibly angry can make them stop sharing. Don't blame your child. A comment like "why didn't you fight back?" only makes them feel more at fault, and more alone in what they're going through. Document what happened. Ask clearly who was involved, where, when, and whether anyone witnessed it. If there are messages or images, save them. Reassure them they're safe. Make it clear this wasn't their fault, and that the family will work through it together, step by step. Never encourage your child to fight back. This usually escalates the situation faster, and can put your child at greater risk. When Your Child Is the One Causing Harm Avoid impulsive disciplinary action before fully understanding the context. Sit down and ask what's going on for your child — many children act aggressively because they're hurting too. After that, help them see the impact their actions had on the other child. The goal is genuine remorse and real change — not simply teaching them to fear getting caught. Working With the School and Handling Cyberbullying Report the incident to the school in writing, including the timeline and any evidence you've gathered. Ask for a meeting with the homeroom teacher and the student support team. A school with a clear safeguarding policy will have a more transparent process for handling it. For cyberbullying, save the evidence before anything is deleted. Take screenshots, and record the links and the time each incident occurred. Then report the content on the platform itself and block the account responsible. Response steps to help parents support their child correctly Image What Makes a School Environment Safe? When choosing a school, parents usually ask about tuition fees and academic results. But there's another important question worth asking: does the school handle bullying through a clear system, or on a case-by-case, ad hoc basis? A safe environment isn't one where conflict never happens — it's one where conflict is caught early and dealt with consistently. The difference lies in the system, not just in the promises. Five signs that a school has strong safeguarding in place: A clear anti-bullying policy that's shared openly with parents. A dedicated pastoral care or school counselling team. A safe reporting channel for students, free from fear of retaliation. Kindness and respect taught as part of daily school life, not just posted on a wall. Close cooperation with parents when an incident happens, rather than keeping it quiet. At Westlink International School, student safety and wellbeing come first. The School applies strict child protection policies and procedures to build a safe, positive learning environment. Every member of the leadership team, teaching staff and support staff must hold a valid criminal background check and take part in annual Safeguarding training run by International Schools Partnership (ISP), ensuring every student learns and grows in an environment that is safe, respectful and protected. Beyond reviewing a school's safety policies, parents should also observe everyday school life. It's worth learning more about school life at Westlink to get a fuller picture of the environment your child would be part of. Westlink builds a respectful, safe and supportive environment for students Image Understanding what school bullying really involves helps parents spot the signs early and respond in the right way. When families and schools work together clearly, children are heard, protected and supported sooner. To see how Westlink builds a safe school environment first-hand, parents are welcome to book a tour and speak directly with our admissions team.
